What do I do? WHATDOIDO?
I gotta get my hair done. So let's get something really short. And let's get it colored. Yeah. That's good. It's like a dark haired Jessica Alba style now. I look super cute. Calem will be all over me.
I need to put on some conquering music as I tackle this next step in the Nuzlocke Calem Challenge.
How about this splendid music for "Child of Light", it's intense and serene (and helps plug a future game review that I'll have on my website http://www.monthlygamer.com/ in a few weeks), which fits this particular instance very well.
I look cute. Calem looks cute. We'll have cute babies. OH MY GOD THERE HE IS. He's waiting outside the cafe waiting for me! Don't mess this up.
Oh... he just wants to spy on the ginger George Best...
... and another WOMAN?!
Apparently it's some famous movie star, that's probably named after Princess Diana. I have no chance over her...
So for our really lousy date we listen to them talk about how she thinks the world is perfectly imperfect and he hates it because it's ugly.
(Look who's talking, you orange-haired Tom Jones)
It bores me and I eventually just leave Calem, especially if all he is going to do is oogle at Diantha. She isn't even that pretty...
...not that much at least...
I guess I should just continue my Calem Nuzlocke Challenge, instead of trying to find love.
I start making my way to Route 5 and a man comes up to me. He is wearing and purplish-pink (calm yourself, you color Nazis, I don't know the proper color name) and he has the porn-stache of all Poké-Porn-Staches.
He is saying that he is the expert in Bonding and O-Powers... uhh...
"O-Powers are mysterious forces that have all kinds of useful effects."
I'm sorry, sir, we just met and you're creepy and I just want to get by...
"It's Bonding Time."
Wait... what are you doing? Get away from me. No Stranger Danger!
And the screen goes black.
I'm not even kidding. That's exactly how it happens in the game. It's really creepy and unnerving and I don't like this guy. Also I will not be using O-Powers during my Nuzlocke. I completely forgot about them. So we shall add that to the amendments.
And just like that Mr. Bonding is gone and has left me shivering in a corner.
After making sure he is gone... I get up and scurry to Route 5, where immediately a Lurcario runs up to me and screams, "Carrrrr!"
Now if you have never been ambushed by a Lucario this is what they look like...
It's a freaking ninja-Pokémon. I don't want that all up in my grill after I was forced to have "bonding" time.
It's a woman's Lucario, but apparently it likes me. This is important to the story, so I'll skip it.
I go attempt some training in some grass, but get stopped for a double battle between the Shinning Twins.
And they have a Plusle and Minun team, which normally isn't hard, but holy cow, all they did was Thunder Wave and Growl at me. It took WAY longer than it should.
After a day of being declined Calem's affections, being "bonded" with by a strange man, nearly mauled by a Lucario and struggling through a battle that should have been easy, I call it a day.
My Team:
Murray (Ralts) level 11 - Route 4
Ront (Dunsparce) level 12 - Route 22
Rosco (Pidgey) level 16 - Route 2
WenchWench (Bunnelby) level 12 - Route 3
Skeeter (Bulbasaur) level 11 - Lumoise City
Neggs (Pikachu) level 11 - Santalune Forest
PC:
Bulbasaur (Chespin) level 12 - Aquacorde Town
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